12 Million Tons of Material Stored at Taxpayers’ Expense

It has come to light that some individuals have been surreptitiously storing 12million tons of their own property on the public highway. The material, a toxic combination of metals, plastics, rubber and highly flammable liquids, is estimated to take up 90,000,000m2, or 17,000 miles of road space.

There are concerns that the free-flow of traffic is hindered, gardens are smaller and roads are wider than necessary, adding to the already high cost of maintenance. Pedestrians are asked to avoid the material when crossing roads as it presents a safety risk.

There are also concerns about the visual impact.

“All this junk on the streets must be costing the taxpayer a fortune. And it looks pig ugly.” said one forthright resident.

Some ingenious owners attempt disguise their 1.4tons by spreading it onto the pavement. People can still get by, they just can’t hold hands.

photo: Adrian Short

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One single comment

  1. rosstheboss says:

    Interesting. Something similar happens in Warsaw…but in the city centre. See the top photo: http://eidus.sg/2010/04/03/parking-in-warsaw/ (not my photo, just found it on google).

    Often there’s actually a white line to mark how far the cars can encroach. Obviously, when the city was (re)designed as the capital of Communist Poland there were far fewer cars and the grand boulevards implied far more grandeur than a car-owning working class. Now though, as a pedestrian, one gets the feeling of being squished against the buildings.

    Don’t even get me started on the neglect of Poland’s public transport infrastructure in favour of drive-to malls and town centre ‘galeria’.

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