It has come to light that some individuals have been surreptitiously storing 12million tons of their own property on the public highway. The material, a toxic combination of metals, plastics, rubber and highly flammable liquids, is estimated to take up 90,000,000m2, or 17,000 miles of road space.
There are concerns that the free-flow of traffic is hindered, gardens are smaller and roads are wider than necessary, adding to the already high cost of maintenance. Pedestrians are asked to avoid the material when crossing roads as it presents a safety risk.
There are also concerns about the visual impact.
“All this junk on the streets must be costing the taxpayer a fortune. And it looks pig ugly.” said one forthright resident.
Some ingenious owners attempt disguise their 1.4tons by spreading it onto the pavement. People can still get by, they just can’t hold hands.
photo: Adrian Short